If you would have spoken to me over an hour ago you would have seen an extremely cheerful and excited person. However disappointment sets in.... Thursdays are my fabulously wonderful days, not only because I have extended prep, but because Thursdays are the days that I slip away to the magical land of golf. =) However it seems that Thursdays are unlucky days at Mountain Falls. The driving range manages to be closed on days I REALLY NEED TO WACK THE CRAP OUT OF SOMETHING. *SIGH* I have friends who are trying to make sure I don't over work myself any more and get me to leave work nearly on time. Today I did leave on time: 3:30 pm. It was a MIRACLE! Usually I work until the moon comes up and coyotes come out. This year I have friends who are getting me to have a life. THANKFULLY. They schedule exercise programs and golf to times really close to after school. This gives me no excuse to stay at school and melt into the walls of my classroom.
I didn't sleep well at all last night. I have been so exhausted, I feel like I'm coming down with one of the millions of things my students have had. Sometimes I feel like my classroom is just a sesspool of germs. There are so many nooks and crannies to clean, it seems like an impossible task. My mind raced wildly last night, thoughts of the millions of undone tasks came to mind as I tried to throw myself into a much needed sleep: papers to grade, lesson plans for weeks to come, projects, house cleaning, church lessons, yard, brakes on my car, Thanksgiving plans, family complications, excitement for upcoming events....the list was endless. My mind is overactive and at times I'm completely ADD and/or ADHD, so I can relate to my students well.
(Back to my day....)
I made the mistake (...or maybe right choice? Not sure yet.) and gave my "yeller" a journal. I that I thought that maybe he could write down some of his thoughts in it instead of yelling at people, and that maybe it would help him let go of his anger. I wrote that little message on the first page and placed it in his mailbox. Done. However it wasn't. Any normal student would just say thank you. Nope. Yeller isn't "any normal student." He didn't say thank you, instead, this conversation ensued:
Yeller: (without raising hand) Can I read what you wrote to me to the class?
Me: I don't think it's necessary to read it to the class, sometimes people write things to YOU and it's personal. It's not really necessary to share with everyone what happened yesterday.
Yeller: Can I show everyone what you wrote to me then?
Me: No. It's not appropriate. If you really feel like you need to share it, you can share it during your time at recess.
Yeller: But it's so cool, can't I show it to someone? (as he's passing it to ANOTHER person to read).
Me: You already are. Put it away.
Yeller: (putting it on his desk) Can I get people to sign it since I'm leaving?
Me: (Thinking: WHAT DID I DO!? THIS "KIND" GESTURE WAS A HUGE MSITAKE!!!!! When ARE YOU LEAVING??) One word: Recess.
*Silence* Yeller continues to carry the journal EVERYWHERE HE GOES. IT IS NOW A PART OF HIM.
WOW! I can't help but wonder if I made a total mistake!? Some kids just can't take a little attention and always have to be in the limelight! It's impossble to get teaching done at times like that. This year I have a lot of kids who constantly want to share experiences. I don't know if it's just me, or if all teachers experience it, but MAN! I constantly tell them, "No more personal experiences, I think it's great you all have so many stories that relate to erosion (or whatever topic we are learning about), but we are going to have to move on."
I wonder if I'll ever be able to write lesson plans and complete them? It's been four years and I'm still horrible at pacing as I write up lesson plans. I always write more than can be accomplished, yet in my mind it seems totally feasible until I begin teaching. Then as I mark and scribble on my lesson plans I find myself wondering if others do the same thing. I've been really annoyed with my computer at home. I lost Word and so I have to do things over the internet in my email the past week. It's been painful, I can usually just copy, paste, or delete items in a document, but this week I've had to manually write in. ANNOYING!! I am way too dependent on technology.
Students were horrible for the Librarian today. I don't know what to do with them. Well, I do know what I AM GOING TO DO WITH THEM. They're getting a library seating arrangement. They are just too chatty with each other. I ALMOST wish they didn't like each other so much! I can only imagine how the end of the year will be if this is happening in the beginning of the second quarter!!! YIKES!?
Although I still get extrememly nervous for evaluations, I just tried to imagine she wasn't there today. Which helped me be more normal this first time. I did a typical writing lesson, introducing our next area of focus, leads/grabbers/hooks. I wonder if people plan lessons way out of the ordinary to be evaluated on? Maybe I should do that so I don't get so nervous of the critiquing of my everyday lessons. LOL...no, that would make me even MORE nervous, hehehehe. I guess I'll just continue to be borin'. Am I the only one who feels like this?
Overall, today wasn't bad. It was pretty ok and I survived 5th grade yet another day.
Score: Teacher 1, Students 1